What a girl wants-4 of 12

nook.color.enough.said.

What a bitch wants for the holidays-3 of 12

I'll take one of these please-any color-

What this ho wants for the holidays-2 of 12

http://www.louisvuitton.com/uk/flash/index.jsp?direct1=univ&campaign=seo/UK/EN/prod

Thanks St. Nick!

What my greedy bitch ass wants for x-mas-1 of 12

http://www.uggaustralia.com/ugg-and-jimmy-choo/productDetails_jc.aspx?productID=3044&gID=W&model=Starlit&cid=shoppingsite_froogle3044-BLK-05&CAWELAID=603565492

UGG & Jimmy Choo.  Enough said.

shabby apple ReViEw

I recently received a "little black dress" from shabby apple. You can visit them here~http://www.shabbyapple.com/ 

They have a delightful selection of funky dresses for all tastes, shapes & sizes. I chose this foxy number~http://www.shabbyapple.com/p-497-midnight-garden.aspx I was grateful for their "fit guide". I purposely chose this dress because it states "DRESS FITS GENEROUSLY". What more could I ask for after just having baby #3? Even with all that I was afraid to wear the dress just yet. But it was 60 degrees here today so I busted out with it. And, surprise! It fit wonderfully. And I was comfortable ALL.DAY.LONG. I wasn't tugging or re-adjusting myself. I apologize that the pictures really do not do the dress justice-my daughter took them of me. You can save 10% off your order just by providing your e-mail address. If you choose the wrong size they will ship you a new dress for FREE. Now excuse me while I go "shop by body type"-just take a short quiz to find yours. I am WOMANLY! I have my eye on this hot mama dress next~http://www.shabbyapple.com/p-631-vp.aspx  Let me know what you decide on...

Shit every mom needs...

My current favorite baby items are aden + anais blankets. Especially these bamboo ones: http://www.adenandanais.com/shop/itemdisplay.aspx?ID=167&SKU=9201. as seen in the second picture. We also have a pretty pink collection and a green set I bought from Target before I knew Juliette was a girl (top and bottom of post) The pink and green sets each came with 3 patterned and one white blanket.  They.kick.ass.  You can use them to swaddle of course but they also work as a nursing cover and to cover the infant car seat to protect from sun or light rain.  I HATE covering a babes face but I feel comfortable using these because the fabric is light and breathable. Almost gauze-like.  They are all soft but the bamboo ones are ridiculously so.  The patterns make me smile.  We also use them for tummy time.  I originally bought them because she was due in late July and I knew I would want to swaddle her and couldn't imagine using a traditional blanket.  I fell in love with them.  They also make a "lovie" that babysteals has from time to time.  http://www.adenandanais.com/shop/Issie.aspx  I recommend them, especially as a gift for a new (or not so new) mama. You can also find them at amazon.com and diapers.com (to name a few)

And Ju Ju was born...

BEFORE

The 3rd labor & delivery should have been cake. It wasn't. I had contractions the entire pregnancy so I wasn't sure how to ever tell if I was actually in labor. Juliette was oblique so I was scheduled for a version and possible c-section (fuck that) at 11 am on July 30th. (My EDD was 7/31). I delivered her vaginally at 11:25 a.m. after arriving at the hospital at 5:00 that morning instead. I was 5 cm when we arrived. I was incredibly calm as I woke up Robbie and took the time to change my clothes, do the final packing and kiss the big kids goodbye. God bless my mom who came over around 4:30 that morning. I declined the wheelchair which made the security officer who walked us to L & D very nervous. They had to check my cervix to see if Miss J had turned and after 3 fucking people stuck their arms up my vag it was determined she was head down (albeit high) and I was 5 cm. HALFWAY folks! I spent 5-7 cm on the birthing ball, drinking cranberry juice and thinking i was the shit when all hell broke loose & I lost control of the situation. I had to pee. Really bad. They wouldn't let me go on the toilet. They told me to go in a bedpan or just let loose right there. I am far from shy but I just couldn't go for some reason. So the nurse used a catheter. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THIS. holy burning mother of hell...but it needed to happen. After that I wet from 8-10 cm in a few minutes. I wouldn't recommend that either. I had no break from the contractions. I just wanted 30 seconds to catch my breath. My back labor was KILLING me and I wanted to cry like a bitch. I have a herniated disc in my lower back and choosing to not have the epidural may not have been my best idea this time around. So it was time to push-which I did for roughly 20 minutes. I felt like my back and hips were going to break apart. After my 3rd epi-she was born!!! My first two each weighed 7.4 & she was 8.4. I felt all 16 ounces in my nether region. In fact I am still using the spray bottle instead of TP & I refer to my lady junk as "down there". Its like a fucking war zone. I am thinking of tying the tubes.

Why people keep having kids...

...your "baby" girl is now a 2nd grader, your 2 year old speaks in full sentences and you need a newborn to cuddle who looks at you adoringly & doesn't talk back!

Really life?

Well I am officially out.of.work. for the duration of my pregnancy. While I appreciate living in one of the few states that even offers short-term disability pay I am less than thrilled with the amount which has remained unchanged for more than 20 years!!!!But here we are. Juliette must bake longer and I must rest. Hopefully I will get some writing in.

I am done. Reached my peak stress point. If I was capable of giving up, I would. Cry? Yep I've done it. I am a hormonal train wreck. The IRS is going to garnish R's check again on Monday. Yes, they agree they were wrong and they lifted the levy. They just won't tell his employer. Nice. So I cannot pay the Mobil bill. Or the national Grid bill. Or one of the credit card bills. And its only going to get worse. Great solution IRS. Taking 80% of someone's paycheck. We are remodeling the house so that's expensive. We still need to buy flooring, light fixture, paint. Juliette has no crib. And if I end up going into labor early again? We.could.not.be.more.screwed. Bedrest=disability pay & that ain't gonna cut it. And I am still not divorced and need to pay my attorney-that's where my savings account is going. Whining? No. This is fucked up shit and I am entitled. I sure could use a bailout right now. Next up? Selling my engagement ring. I could use a glass of wine and a good friend. I watched "New Moon" last night- a welcome distraction from reality.

The Bad News HAS to End Soon, Right?

I hate to be melodramatic but, I cannot take it anymore. The IRS is ruining our lives and on the way from the accountant's office Robbie takes the curb with him. Seriously. Remodeling of our garage starts on Monday. IRS garnishment starts Monday too. And our trial at work. And finally my PTO meeting. Did I mention I am six months pregnant today? Pulling.My.Fucking.Hair.Out.Here.

I suck at this. It's painfully obvious. Feel sorry for me as I am pregnant with two kids. I work full-time. We are fighting the IRS and start renovating part of our home mid-month. I miss this outlet but I am just too damn tired and in need of a fucking shower. I want to be creative, witty and funny. I do. Maybe as my sex life is more tame I lack the naughtiness to write from my loins. Whatever the case...I shall return when I am more "me". I reviewed a great book and I want to tell you all about it. Until then...

Books I have enjoyed lately~

Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile

 

Rockabye by Rebecca Woolf

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

and I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids also by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile

Can you tell I am preggo with this list?

Fertility Update Bullshit

So friend #1 is pregnant!!!!!! And it might be twins. I am so happy and only wish I was closer to her to support her thru the horrid "1st trimester". Friend #2 finally had her bloodwork done and she is not with child. Total.fucking.bullshit. What do you say to that? "Sorry"? That doesn't quite cut it. Yet another friend had a miscarriage last week. Has there always been this much loss? Or was I ignorant to it? I want to scream and cry for it all. What the fuck? Is there anything we can do? Say? If you are reading this you know who you are. Please know I love you.

Loss sucks dick

This will ramble. I am angry. Angry my friend lost her baby and had to have a D & C at nearly 12 weeks because her baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, 4 days. Angry that another friend would cut off her right arm to have another baby and can't. She's the epitome of a "good" person and one of the best mothers I know, yet she doesn't get that opportunity. Yet another friend might be pregnant after years of heartache and pain trying to conceive. We wait for confirmation and we wait for that supposedly magical 12 week mark. I know it is stereotypical and pointless to bitch about the crack heads that are able to conceive and somehow-against all odds carry a baby to term. But indulge me. Don't think for a minute I do not appreciate how lucky I am to be on #3. I have seen loss first hand. Watched an old friend lose 4 babies. I know life is unfair but some things cross that line. To add insult to injury? My friend that had a D & C? We ordered "Udder Covers" together and they came in the fucking mail yesterday. Nice, real fucking nice.

First post in a long mother-fucking time

I'm baaaaaaack...

So, I am with child. This has kept me from you all. First-it was hush-hush. Then after our 1st sono we got over that. Pregnancy is so all consuming that I cannot fathom how to NOT talk about it 24/7. I am nauseous ALL day. Food sucks. I had a Chinese food craving but my last delivery was questionable so I'm over it. I love lemon and salads, danish and donuts. Ali is super excited and voting for a girl. Kai isn't quite sure what is going on, just that mama is tired and pretty rough looking. In a week when we cross over to the 12 week side I will fix my hair-I promise. I am so tired after working all week that I feel I might cry. There's been alot of sweats and T.V. time. I needed to catch up on True Blood anyway. My love to you all. We'll talk again soon. (I hope-the couch sounds pretty good right now)