Loss sucks dick

This will ramble. I am angry. Angry my friend lost her baby and had to have a D & C at nearly 12 weeks because her baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, 4 days. Angry that another friend would cut off her right arm to have another baby and can't. She's the epitome of a "good" person and one of the best mothers I know, yet she doesn't get that opportunity. Yet another friend might be pregnant after years of heartache and pain trying to conceive. We wait for confirmation and we wait for that supposedly magical 12 week mark. I know it is stereotypical and pointless to bitch about the crack heads that are able to conceive and somehow-against all odds carry a baby to term. But indulge me. Don't think for a minute I do not appreciate how lucky I am to be on #3. I have seen loss first hand. Watched an old friend lose 4 babies. I know life is unfair but some things cross that line. To add insult to injury? My friend that had a D & C? We ordered "Udder Covers" together and they came in the fucking mail yesterday. Nice, real fucking nice.

First post in a long mother-fucking time

I'm baaaaaaack...

So, I am with child. This has kept me from you all. First-it was hush-hush. Then after our 1st sono we got over that. Pregnancy is so all consuming that I cannot fathom how to NOT talk about it 24/7. I am nauseous ALL day. Food sucks. I had a Chinese food craving but my last delivery was questionable so I'm over it. I love lemon and salads, danish and donuts. Ali is super excited and voting for a girl. Kai isn't quite sure what is going on, just that mama is tired and pretty rough looking. In a week when we cross over to the 12 week side I will fix my hair-I promise. I am so tired after working all week that I feel I might cry. There's been alot of sweats and T.V. time. I needed to catch up on True Blood anyway. My love to you all. We'll talk again soon. (I hope-the couch sounds pretty good right now)