I AM the mom that:

~will lay down & die for you
~would kill for you
~will hold you, rock you, sing to you, snuggle you, cry as I watch you sleep
~will read to you every night
~will buy you your first laptop at three & let you have a facebook profile at six
~will give in and eventually let you wear clothes with licensed characters on them (occasionally)

~will sing (really loud) with you & dance all over the house
~always has hand sanitizer, tissues & band-aids
~help you with your homework & makes you do more
~breastfed you
~is VP of the PTO
~keeps 90% of your artwork
~will stand up for you
~will teach you how to kick ass
~will let you swear because words only have the power we give them
~will ensure you don;t have sex until you are old enough to handle it

~will always know where you are
~will know what you are doing because I was the worst child EVER
~will watch movies & share a blanket with you
~will watch Spongebob Scaredy Pants 300X because it makes you happy
~will make you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes {at once} if I catch you smoking one
~will make you drink until you puke & spin the first time I catch you drinking
~will love you like crazy cakes